IT'S BEEN A MINUTE.

"I have not been posting for a while now, this is a post I wrote months ago and when I was about to post it, the laptop just blacked out. I also do not know how and why, just in case you are wondering. So today I open my blog and I still find it there, no single word altered. Guess its a call for me to get back to writing........................... Have a read *smiley*."


                       

Hello everyone,

I’m looking for a different sentence to begin with other than the usual “it’s been a while”, drop any comments below. Hoping you have been great, I have been doing good aaaaaaaaaaaaand I am excited about this post, it was supposed to be up a few days ago, but funny how so many things came up. I have been praying for the patience and joy of the Lord for a long time, and it came through. I could have been posting this while angry and mad (I call it mangry), but I’m all smiles now. *sigh* I don’t know where to begin from, but LETS DO THIS!!

I have had esteem issues since way back; I always thought everyone else is better than me and that I am not good enough. This affected me so much that I couldn’t even make friends, because I always felt intimidated. (It’s a long story, so I’mma cut it short to get to today’s topic however someday I’ll post all about it.) so, fast-forward till when I got born again * ahem, it’s just juzi* and I met this super crazy friends, who kinda helped get me out of my cocoon, stretched my wings and taught me how to fly. It wasn’t easy though. The problem with having a low-self-esteem is you want to be like everyone else, giving them a chance to control you however they want.

Why am I posting this? I’m not really sure, but I hope it gets to someone out there who is so much struggling to fit in someone else's shoe, someone who dislikes herself because everyone says negative things about them. “your eyes are too big”, “what’s wrong with your nails?”, “watch out you are growing fat” “you just aint that pretty” and so much more. I’ve heard this and many more but here is a word for you, for I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made, marvelous are thy works. (KJV) psalms 139.14

Once I was mad at people, everyone who didn't like me, or they thought I should lose some weight, or get some fake nails to look good. I got so mangry, and I was thinking why is it that no one ever walks up to a skinny girl *very skinny* and ask them “hey, are you having enough food to eat?” then I realized I had let this people control me, my life revolved around them. All I ever thought about is what would they think I look like? What would they want me to do? and so many questions.

Human beings can be so insensitive, I remember a longtime friend once texted me blankly “long time, hope you good, however I don’t like how you look so big nowadays do something about it”. …………………………………………………………… I was shocked for days; started starving myself and I suddenly felt ten times bigger hahaha, and so many more friends wrote to me, did they plan about it? Maybe it was true I dint look good. Am I too ugly now? Will I ever get a husband (this was the main issue btw) hihihi.

Cheeeeeeeeiiiii * afrocinema* I learnt to be me, accept me and love me just as I am. I look in the mirror and smile. To you out there who feels ugly, not good enough, intimidated and all that. Rise , and hold your chin up. Do not let anyone live for you, accept the flaws you think you may have, look in the mirror and step away in confidence. Recognize your true value and self-worth. NEVER change who you are to please anyone and do not depend on the approval of a man, or anyone else to know that you are BEAUTIFUL.

 However, this is not a go ahead for anyone to live an unhealthy life, eat healthy and stay healthy, see ya'll on my next post :).

 And God saw every thing that He had made, and, behold, it was very good. (KJV). Genesis 1.31